Wednesday, December 17, 2008

From ESPN.com...


In a stunning series the Losers came out as victorious winning in 7 games.

They were easily the favorites, but perceived as the Underdogs. Everybody in the family were rooting for the Losers to beat the Champions. The first two games played at Blunden Field were won by the Losers. It looked as though the Losers were going to sweep the series. The site than switched to night games at Avery Park where the Sun was implimented as all-time defense. "We wanted to include him," remarked the Dominator. "As the oldest of the fagnificent 7 [magnificent 7], it looked as though he was being left out, and I wanted to feel like he was part of the family"

The field change proved to be very nice. Games were played after the heat of the day and proved to be neutral ground. At Blunden Field there were hecklers in the crowd, rappers Raggie Fresh, Punkie P, and Mr. Hims would often come on the field at Blunden Field constantly making derrogatory remarks and rude comments. "Ninc and ranr are going to kick your bhatt," "thara papa con che? [meaning who's your daddy]," as well as "hey you guys are as bad Pakistan."

According to Wiffle Ball officials, "Those types of remarks are not allowed in our leagues. We encourage fans, but if they are going to be too obnoxious, then they should be left at home. The Champions did it the right way, by making sure that their sponsors and fans were left at home." The investigation of how these fans got where they did is ongoing.

The Sun proved to be a game changer. An extra fielder was added, and the Losers got much needed help on defense. The Champions who rely on unbelievable hitting were still able to find many gaps - especially over the fence, but The Sun was crucial in the close games.





"I tried to help both teams equally, but it did seem like I felt extra motivated to play harder for the Losers," adds the Sun.

The Sun played brilliantly, much to the surprise of both teams, but it was obvious one team benefited with his presence. Not only was the Sun all-time Defense, but he also served as the referee.

The Sun and the Darkness have had a feud for many years. They are extreme opposites especially in their style, but the Darkness was able to put aside the differences. "I understand the Dominator wanted to have the Sun be part of the game, but I would have much rather him been on the Losers full-time. I was able to put aside our differences, but there were times during the game where the Losers would comment about the situation, egging on the Sun. It's almost as if the Sun was a double agent."

The Dominator added, "I knew Darkness would be able to put aside his hostility towards the Sun, but it seemed like the Sun wouldn't put aside his rivalry. I don't even know how it started."

Ninc and ranr did not comment on the issue when asked about the Sun.

The Sun used to live in Austin, and would often make visits to go see ninc, and it is unclear as to what they did when they were together, but much controvesy surrounds this issue and it is being investigated.

The Losers, even though they won, are being doubted by many people. Stay tuned to see what happens with their controversial "victory."

What Happened...




As you all are aware, the Champions were unable to defend their championship this past summer. They are still not over the loss but give a congratulations to ninc and ranr. The series was a best of 7 games, and the Champions were unable to win game 7 after being down 3-1.

Postgame comments will follow

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Happy Birthday Dominator

Happy 22nd Birthday to the Dominator from WBC, Mickey Mouse and the whole Walt Disney Family. Walt Disney, is yet another sponsor for The Champions. Have a great bird-day Dominator!

Monday, July 14, 2008

Brett Favre's Next Team?




Brett Favre, recently in the news about coming back to professional football has had another change of heart. He wants to win another championship as part of a winning team, and decided to invest his greatness towards The Champions.

Unfortunately, the Champions can't become any more great, but appreciate Brett's intentions, and welcome Favre's support.

Note: Favre wanted to coach or play for the Champions, but due to schedule conflicts, he will be unable to do so.

T-Minus Two Days



Apparently the Darkness and Dominator are as ready as ever. The Losers have taken the approach of "no trash talk, we'll let our games speak for ourselves"

Looks like they will say nothing the rest of their lives.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

BREAKING NEWS!




we here at WBC regret to inform you that the LOSERS' agent, edgar stiles, has died. sources close to stiles have said that he died because of a terrorist attack. details of the attack have been disclosed.



when asked about the attack, the champions' agent jack bauer commented, "we are all expendable. we're out of time. let's get back to work people."

Losers -- New CEO!



not only has he released tha carter III today, but the rapper announced that he is the new CEO of the LOSERS franchise. he claims that they are the "greatest wiffle ball players alive" but we all know how that goes.

advice from a champion:



7-time racing champion ricky bobby had wise words for the losers. "remember kids," bobby said, "if you're not first, you're last."


well said, ricky.

the war of the publicists?



tmz.com reported a verbal altercation between the losers' publicist, toby flenderson and the champions' publicist, michael scott.

according to the reports, flenderson decided to start whining about his personal life, when scott pushed flenderson's meal off of the table.

flenderson's one representative (his daughter) declined to comment on the situation.

g.o.o.d music



kanye west announced tuesday that he will be signing the champions to his music label, g.o.o.d. music. in an effort to branch out to trash talk, he gave the dominator and darkness their own imprint, getting off our d---s.


mr. west welcomes the duo to his family!

Vinces not feeling their fans?

Recently, ESPN Classic re-ran the slaughter and humiliation of the 06 series. Ninc had dedicated the game and his performance to his idol, Vince Young, while Ranr dedicated the game and his performance to his idol, Vince Carter.


Vince Young in a statement regarding ninc's performance said:
"I love when kids idolize me and look up to me. I was born a winner and always have been a winner. When kids dedicate their performance and then suck it up when it comes time to perform, it disappoints me and what I'm about. One of the proudest moments in my sports career was beating USC in the Championship Game. Getting that Championship was great and I feel sorry because ninc and ranr will never experience that."




Vince Carter also had things to say, regarding ranr's performance:
"Going to North Carolina and then winning the Slam Dunk Contest (after I said I was going to win it) are highlights of my life. When I say I'm going to win something or do something I just do it. I'm sponsored by Nike (because I'm great) and live by that slogan. Obviously ranr can't do much and probably will never be able to do anything. It is nice to see kids respect me, but c'mon, if you're going to say you'll win a game - Win it. Obviously winning is something ranr is not used to in wiffle ball. I definitely support Darkness and the Dominator. Darkness even predicted me getting traded far before I did. He knew that I was not comfortable in Toronto and understands that how a champion truly feels. "

Sponsorship for LOSERS announced!

The WNBA, Fruit of the Loom, and Ryan Seacrest have all stated their support for ninc and ranr.

The WNBA released this statement:
"Because of our decreased viewership and our waste of time idea in creating the WNBA, we thought we'd support other waste of time ideas. Ninc and Ranr make us extremely happy that we are not at the bottom of the sports world."



Fruit of the Loom released their statement as well:
"We love supporting other fruits. It would be a waste of our money to give ninc and ranr financial support, but fruits stick together."



Ryan Seacrest simply stated:
"They are my American Idols. I'm a big loser and so are they, why not support them?"

Family...whose side are you on?

Sure its hard to pick sides when it comes to family...but really? Why would you say things like:

bAnDwAGonBYnAtUrE: maybe itll tie
bAnDwAGonBYnAtUrE: i cant wait to see who wins
bAnDwAGonBYnAtUrE: did u guys really win wiffle ball

things like that can hurt your chances of joining the Dominator and Darkness. If you care to remain neutral, you could be in for a "not-so-fun ride"

plus, we know you are on the Dominator/Darkness team, why fight the truth?



We will wait for you to choose sides, until then you'll be in the same boat as the sun...

New Sponsorships!

RC Cola and V8 have recently became new sponsors and are based off of childhood nicknames. Once thought of as dumb nicknames created by the dads has turned into a huge pay day for both Darkness and the Dominator. As fans of Darkness and the Dominator, everyone will receive free products from both sponsors. And so what if both the drinks stink? Who can turn down free stuff?



Newcomer?

Newcomer, Sunny is going to be in the middle of this heated rivalry. His skills are similar to ninc and ranr, but with Darkness and the Dominator helping him, we may see an upcoming star. As of right now, Darkness still Dominates the Sun and he is just not good enough to be on their team.





Sorry Sunny, you'll have to earn your way to greatness.

Poster still on sale!

They are paying people to take this poster, but still nobody seems to want it.

THE CHAMPION PARTY - EXCLUSIVE PICTURE

not only do the darkness and dominator have a sponsorship from mr. kanye west, the duo has been spotted at the champion party with the louis vuitton don.



classy, gentleman.

mr. west will be making an appearance at the world series in july. the true champion will also be performing a million hit songs for his sponsored team.


july08

Movie Star and Community Service Too!

The Dominator was almost cast on the Pirates of the Caribbean series after the huge win. He had to say peace to the movie trilogy, explaining, "I really thought that my celebrity status would take away from the movie. Johnny Depp replaced me and became a bigger star because of it. I'm glad to help him out, plus I didn't have to wear tights and act like a douche bag the whole movie. It worked out for all of us."



The Dominator is often times seen around batting cages, teaching little kids how to play. He teaches them the fundamentals of batting and fielding and has turned little kids into future stars.



Not only does he help his team win the Championship, but he has time to help out others. A Role Model for the Ages

stadium status



the darkness has been spotted driving around a brand new bentley. word on the street is he paid in cash, because he is a true champion. ya'll can't tell him nothin.' if you're looking to be a champion, buy a bentley.

if you're looking to be a loser, then look no further than THE PINK PONY.

public service announcement pt II:



NEVER FORGET.

public service announcement:




..he will ruin your life.

And just in case you don't believe us...



Are you still doubting?...check yourself

Poster for Sale!

A new motivational poster has been sold in record numbers. Check your local stores before they all sell out!

they even suck at basketball!



looks like there is yet another sport that the losers suck at. here we see the dominator stuffing the shit out of ninc's jumpshot. sorry about that one sir.

and remember kids:

BREAKING NEWS - MORE GRAFFITI!



more graffiti has been found in the ESPN archives. it seems as though the street team has been following a certain pattern. if anybody catches these vandals, please donate money to them so that they can buy more spray paint and deface more pictures of the losers. then give them a high five!

are you serious?



after hearing that the dominator and the darkness are on a 427 game winning streak, ninc, a founding member of the losers, pissed his pants. yes folks, a grown man pissing in his pants.

he should have invested in these:

Greatness Poll

A recent poll was taken by America about how Great the two teams actually are.

100000000.01 Americans were polled. 100000000 agreed that Darkness and the Dominator were far greater than ninc and ranr. While .01 (which is technically still a fetus) showed no response to the question and was thus defaulted to choose the losing team.

losers - spring training!

a guy who works with tmz.com sent these pictures in. see for yourself.





you can clearly see that these two scrubs are hard at work. they're gonna need to run a lot more and lift a lot more if they want to beat these two champions:



here we see our champion, the darkness enjoying a nice game of virtual reality fishing. how relaxing.



our other champion, the dominator enjoying a good ol' dance off.


the champions seem to be taking this vacation very lightly, as the two have not stepped onto a wiffle ball field since the regular season. good luck, champs!

exclusive interview with the losers' mascot!




not much of an "interview," if you ask this blogger. after their atrocious performance in the 2006 championship series, ESPN made a conscious effort to speak to rainbow, the losers mascot. rainbow kept the hometown crowd going even after losing. he is not hard to miss. often the gay one on the field, he is either seen dancing, dancing or dancing.

the rainbow in action:



it seems like even rainbow was too disappointed in his team to be interviewed.

let's hope the losers can try harder this year.

LOSERS - NEW JERSEY UNVEILED!

ladies and gentleman, the MLW is proud to present the losers with a brand new design for their home and visiting jerseys. it is standard to have two different jerseys, however, the losers have proved time and time again that they are not worth two sets of jerseys.

so here we are, exclusive to this blog:





be sure to check this jersey out in action in july!

The Pink Pony

Often times a picture speaks louder than words, but...



Here ranr is seen riding a pink pony for one cent. After losing a huge game like ninc and ranr did, often leaves the losing team without a pay-day and they have to settle for $.01 instead of $1.00 or even $0.25. Ranr does not realize that the pink pony does not move and won't help him get out of the country for his disappointing show in 2006. His t-shirt also indicates that winning is out of his prime, just like the Cowboys. Yes, they did win super bowls, but Tony Homo and company have yet to produce a win in the post season the past two years (coincidence?). Notice that ranr is using a pony, instead of a horse. Sometimes losers have to settle for the smaller things.

tracy mcgrady finds solace in losing



after countless back spasms, tracy mcgrady has been faced with several obstacles. in an interview with Stuart Scott, the NBA all-star had a few things to say:

Tracy McGrady, Houston Cockets: I really like ninc on the Losers in the Wiffle Ball League. Those guys lose, but they do it in a way that I can admire. Those guys have a lot of heart and put a lot of effort into losing. You know, I've never won a playoff series in my life and I know how it feels to lose in big important games. It doesn't matter how much you think about winning, sometimes it just doesn't happen. I feel like Me, ninc and ranr are in the same boat. I'm pretty sure they'll lose again this year, and look great doing so.



After the interview and talking about ninc and ranr, T-mac had to leave after becoming emotional.

BREAKING NEWS

although it is a known fact that the darkness and the dominator have been champions for a long time and from a very young age, a recent photo has been vandalized by who is believed to be a part of the dominating darkness street team. the group has been spotted in and around houston, tx and columbus, oh tagging pictures of their beloved heroes. here is the latest find:




champions2008

sightings



after losing the 06 series, ranr prepped for his press conference. but the game had worn him out to the point of exhaustion and well, at this point, a nap was a lot less scary than facing ESPN after the atrocious ball playing he did with ninc.



likewise, this picture was taken of ninc, hiding in a cabinet after losing the 06 series. i guess the embarassment of the loss was too much to handle for the duo. let's be real..were they ever any real competition for the darkness and dominator?



in the off season, ranr looks to the scoreboard. not wiffle ball folks, bowling. yes, ranr sucks at bowling just as much as ninc does. what a shame.


MLWS08